Breast Feeding Nazi vs. Formula Feeding Nazi

Yuck, both are disturbing to me. I hate "Nazis" from either side!

Relax, formula feeders, breast feeders, formula manufacturers, LC's, and Le Leche folks! Please, let me explain.

No mother should be made to feel guilty about her choice of breast or bottle.

Mom Enough, seriously Time! An all new low.

Disclaimer: I breastfed 2 children until they weaned themselves. 

Disclaimer #2: My mother did not breastfeed me, because at that time, formula was considered a healthier choice. I fully agree with all current studies, which disproves that.

Story #1

I once had a patient who was doing a wonderful job nursing her infant. 

The infant's grandfather was in the room, and said to me, "I just don't get what's so natural about THAT(breastfeeding)?" 

I replied, "Sir, when your daughter got pregnant, her body began to prepare for her baby. Her breasts had colostrum before her baby was even born, and as her baby sucks, her brain stimulates her body to produce milk. Would you please explain to me how that's not natural?" 

His reply, "Well, that's not what they're (her breasts) for!"

 Nurse Amber, "well sir, it looks like your grandson disagrees."

The sad ending: before that mommy went home, she gave up on breastfeeding. Hmmm, I wonder why? 

I have also cared for many mommies who didn't want to breastfeed. I have heard family members and friends make negative comments to them in order to make them feel guilty. I have even had mommies who had breastfed previous children, but decided not to breastfeed the "new infant."

I fully believe in and support education, but again, not guilt.

 Unhappy Mommy, unhappy baby...

Saying that, when I think back on my babies, some of my sweetest memories are of breastfeeding them. Oh wow, I think I just "let down." Is that possible, it's been so long. 

I also must say, I don't have any detachment issues when it comes to having not been breastfed by my own mother. I had a very healthy childhood physically and emotionally. 

One more thing, Mommies. Quit making excuses, either way, own it!

Now, here are some of my favorite pictures:

If the big people wont feed me, I'll have to take matters into my own hands... or is that hands into my mouth... or feet?



THE WINNER OF MY MOST FAVORITE OF FAVORITES IS:



I especially hope my LC co-workers enjoyed the pictures. Oh, and the post too.

To Judy, I'm sad for the many mommies and babies, that will never experience your expertise.  Love, "Amber Bamber"

How to Hire a Doula... Cheap!

How to hire a doula... cheap!

Answer: She (or he) is included in the price of your hospital stay... YOUR NURSE!

Obviously, this post is for hospital births, not home births. For the rest of you, keep on reading, think it out...

I often see first time moms bring doulas with them to the hospital. First let me say, I love doulas. Duh, I am one! 





Great, quick story: I once had a patient from a European country, who was having her first baby. She arrived at the hospital and instantly asked for an epidural. With her permission, I checked her cervix, and she was about 7-8 centimeters. She started crying! She said, "I wanted an epidural." I said, "well, you can probably still get one, but you can SO do this!" She said, "do you really think I can?" Oh man, she needed a boost of confidence and wow, she totally did it... un-medicated with no interventions! Now, WAIT FOR IT, WAIT FOR IT... She was talking on the phone to her sister who wasn't able to get to the US to attend the birth. The patient told her sister of all of the different positions I showed her to use to labor and push, and how I stayed by her side. She used the ball, bar, tub, toilet, chairs, dancing, music... I heard her sister scream on the phone! Her sister said, "YOUR NURSE IS A DOULA!" Well, come to find out her sister was a doula too. The patient had no clue as to what I/WE had to offer her. Are you following? 

Ask yourself the obvious, why would a nurse decide to work in labor and delivery? Hmm, it is a highly litigious field full of extreme highs and lows. The lows are so low, that they are often unspeakable and certainly will not be covered in this post. 

Why would we do this you may ask? Einstein, we love birth! 

So, lets put this into a formula:

x=the experience of a doula      

y=trained professional in Obstetrics and Post-Partum

xy= One heck of an experienced doula, who is also a nurse!

Fact: nurses innately and by trade are your advocates. Share your concerns, fears, and wants with your nurse. 

Get to know your OB/GYN... well! As my grandma would have said, "land sakes, child," get to know them!

Get to know your hospital. Plan a tour! Ask questions, lots of questions. I'll bet you most of the things you put in your birth plan, your doctor and hospital already do!

 Education and reality are truly a delicate mix.

Again, I am not saying, don't hire a doula! There are a few out there, that I LOVE to see coming (Jen, Cathy, I love ya!).

 I'm just saying, consider your nurse and why they do what they do!

Love this!

Definition of DOULA

: a woman experienced in childbirth who provides advice, information, emotional support, and physical comfort to a mother before, during, and just after childbirth

sited: Merriam-Webster.com

Sibling Survival

I am the only girl and youngest of 3 older brothers. That birth order alone set my life in a certain direction. Growing up, my name was... 

"Harvey, Kevin, Steven... AMBER!"

 It's hard to get much past a mother of Irish descent, although she definitely has  Yiddish qualities. If you're lost, please do a cultural review or just move on to the next paragraph if you don't care. She was also a sister to 12 siblings. No, that's not a typo... 12.

My daddy was a pastor with a great sense of humor and the patience of a saint. He had one sibling, his sister, Betty. He loved mom's siblings and enjoyed being part of her large and shall we say, LOUD family. 

You see siblings have to survive as parents learn how to parent. If something gets broken, everyone is guilty, until the culprit folds. My brothers were excellent "non-folders."

Bullies at school, no problem! Go grab your sibs, you'll take that other kid down in a minute. No one fights with you or for you like your sibs. I remember one time at school, a teacher grabbed my hand and starting pulling on me (he would be arrested today!). My brother Steve saw him from across the hall, ran over, and jerked the teacher's hand off of me and said, "don't you ever touch my sister!" At that moment, Steve was my defender. Of course as soon we got home, he became my offender.  He would "frog" me until I cried. 

My brothers and I survived a few things:

No car seats, not even enough seats in the VW bug!

No childproof caps

A couple of house fires, with maybe one smoke detector if we were lucky

TV's on TV trays

Taking  rides in the dryer

No baby monitors

No bike helmets

Guns in the house

Only 3 channels on TV

13-19 inch TV

No VCRs, computers, Wii, PS3, but if you were lucky... ATARI PacMan!

Oh, the list goes on and on...

My brother Steve died June 15, 2006. No one can replace a sibling.

As time has passed, I don't think as much about his death, but about his life, his survival, our survival... SIBLING SURVIVAL!

 Steven Patrick Best  #3 sib

12/05/1968-06/15/2006

 Harvey Jackson Best, Jr. 

The oldest of the sibs

Kevin Wayne Best

 #2 of the sibs

Notice a theme?

  

Google Birth or Google Earth?

Google Birth

Such are 

the days where you no longer ask your momma, sister, or friend, "What to Expect When  Your Expecting." You just Google it.

I will use the word, "Google" instead of search engines in hopes that Google will pay me, want to advertise with me, or give me ownership in their company. So, Google, Google, Google!

I had a patient who was supposedly from out of town, about 30 weeks pregnant and complained of back pain. I gave her the likely cause of her pain and what the doctor would probably do. She said, "well, won't I get an ultrasound?" I proceeded to tell her that with her symptoms an ultrasound would be unlikely. A little later, I returned back to her room, and she had some NEW symptoms to report. She told me that she had "epigastric" pain and "visual disturbances." I said, "point to me on your body where you are feeling this pain." Well, she certainly did not point to the epigastric region, nor was she able to describe her "visual disturbances." 

Obviously, while I was out of the room, this patient and her friend had Googled reasons a doctor may order an ultrasound. 

                                   

What this patient doesn't realize is we keep up with the changing times too. We are fully aware, and a few steps ahead of the information highway, when it comes to Obstetrics. 

Try us, please. No question is stupid. Well, that's not true but I can assure you, we've heard worse.

                                           

The internet can be a great resource, but it can also be the source of much confusion, anxiety, and misinformation.

                               
                        

Mommies, be careful of what you Google.  

Be careful of the stranger at Walmart that gives you advice.

Be careful of your Mother's sister's cousin who had the worst birth ever.

Mommies, be careful of what you Google!

Are you tired of being pregnant? Here is what you can do!

Suck it up, and be a mom! 

The things you are "tired of" is just getting started, friend.

As an L&D nurse, I think I've heard it all when it comes to T.O.B.P. (Tired of Being Pregnant) women.

Now, don't get your bloomers in a wad. I am not talking about women with medical issues.

Shall I give you some pre-delivery scenarios?

• First time mom, 37 weeks pregnant: "Ya'll have to do SOMETHING, I couldn't even eat all of my Thanksgiving dinner."

• Third time mom, 32 weeks pregnant, history of preterm labor with both previous pregnancies: "That doctor needs to 'take' my baby now, I'm tired of this, my other babies were premies and they're just fine now."

• A mom who is 40 weeks pregnant and says, "I've been contracting for weeks and no one will help me."

The combination of these mothers is frightening. A mixture of selfishness, laziness, immaturity, and lack of education. Unfortunately, I never  cease to be amazed by these type of comments.  

My two-cents opinion is that some of these moms can be rehabilitated with education. Those moms are the easy ones. They are just a bit clueless. 

The worst are those who just don't care, because they are putting their needs and wants first. 

For some women, pregnancy is one of the happiest times she will ever experience. For others, they may experience medical complications that make the experience of pregnancy far more difficult and even scary. Then we have the "all about me" woman. 

Being pregnant can consist of hemorrhoids, back pain, Braxton-Hicks, ligament pain, acne, carpal tunnel, peeing on yourself, brittle hair, hair loss, rashes (sometimes severe), nausea, puking, constipation, diarrhea, swollen feet, hands and ankles (cankles), lack of appetite, increased appetite, cravings, baby daddy has cravings... I mean I could go on all night! 

Seriously, you are growing a human. I personally believe there is no greater job, except actually raising the little human(s) you will call your child(ren). Pregnancy is usually not glamorous, but it is miraculous. 

 

Educate yourself, your friends, your daughters. Put the little one growing inside of you first. This little one needs you to be healthy physically and mentally. He or she needs time to grow and develop. You, Mommy, need to listen to your body and baby. If it's not time, it's not time. Quit pushing your baby.

Again, SUCK IT UP... Be a mom!

The Birthday I Almost Didn't Celebrate

The Birthday I Almost Didn't Celebrate

What I thought to be a simple vacation last February would prove to change my life. My family and I were at a resort with an indoor water park. The uh, water park, not too good at handling their chemicals. 

What did that mean for me?  Respiratory failure from Chemical Pnuemonitis.

I always thought I was one of those people ready to meet God. I still would say I am ready in the fact that I have no fear of where I will go or Who I will meet. Most of us have had that seemingly near death experience in a car, on a bike, Black Friday shopping, etc. I learned it's completely different to have that moment turn into days, then weeks, and months.

I have never had a birthday in which I felt happier or more grateful. I am thankful not just for my life, but for the people God placed in it.

One of the greatest lessons I have learned about friendship is this: your real friends love you at your worst, when you have nothing to give. They don't keep score, they need nothing in return, they accept you... all of you. That my friend, IS a friend for life!

The following picture is a breakfast tray that my 6 year old, Bella brought me one morning. Her smiles, hugs, kisses, cuddles in bed, home-made cards, "I hope you feel better, Mommy" was an ointment to my wounds. 

My 11 year old daughter, Ivy proved herself to be a very competent young lady who helped manage the household while her mom could not. She was my right hand in duties and never ceased to keep me in an endless supply of... everything. "I'll take it care of it, Mom" seemed to be her mantra. My pride in her warmed my heart.

My Mom and Step-dad, Bob helped in every way they could too. My mom stayed and took care of the house, meals, my family... Most of all, I know they prayed for me. I thank God for such a loving mom. I'm so glad God gave her such a wonderful husband in Bob. I have told her many times, that I don't know how she was able to snag such two wonderful husbands in her lifetime (the first being my dad who passed away... she isn't a polygamist!) I'm so thankful that God brought Bob into all of our lives!

I would never try to recall those who visited, called, sent cards, etc. during that time in my life. I do especially recall people from church around my hospital bed, praying for my healing, friends from work who visited and gave kisses on my forhead during the night, little treats, and messages... 

My friend Polly proved again to be so amazing. Between she and my husband, I was never alone at the hospital. She stepped in and homeschooled my girls, took them to doctor's appointments, activities, picked up groceries, made phone calls, drove me to every physical therapy appointment, cried with me, laughed with me, encouraged me... I can't say enough. She is better than my sister, she shares a part of my heart. I know her sweet family sacrificed their own needs so that she could help care for my family. All my love to Shane, Katelyn, Ben, Jacob and Lexi.

There is no greater person in my life, than my husband, Bo. We have been married just a little over 20 years. All of his family was so supportive: cooking meals, cleaning, and helping with the kids. God, as my Creator gave me a husband who would be my rock. There have been times in my life when I didn't know up from down, but Bo was right there with me. He makes me laugh, cry, yell... I trust him with every secret, every wish, every dream. I trust him with my whole heart. One day after my discharge home, I was having a really hard time and felt completely hopeless. He snuggled with me on the bed and just said, "I'm right here with you, and you can do this." The he played a song for me, I Won't Let Go by Rascal Flatts. It was just what I needed, I will never forget that moment or that song. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5gBxKEgZqM

Life can change in an instant. To be honest, I never thought "life" would mean my health. One day, I'm running on the beach, weeks later, I couldn't walk to the bathroom. Today, I have what seems to be irreversible asthma.

 I've learned so much in the past 9 months. Now, what to do with it. I hope the story doesn't end here.  



Horrific Birth Stories... the Worst!

Horrific Birth Stories... the Worst!

Gotcha! You thought I was going to tell horrible birthing stories. Oh, I could but that is what annoys me. So, I ask this:

Why do some women find the need to tell PREGGERS some horrible birthing story?

If you've been pregnant, are pregnant  or plan to be pregnant, you will encounter this woman. The interaction sounds something like this:

"Oh honey, how far along are you? Oh really, have they checked you for twins yet? Oh, you're feet are so swollen. You better be careful, my niece had that 'crampsia' something or another and they took her baby early. I was in labor for 12 days and no one would help me. I thought that baby would never come. When my baby came out, I thought I would just die. No matter how loud I screamed, no body would shoot me. I begged for that epidural, but they told me I was too late. Oh honey, I hope that doesn't happen to you. I just thought that baby would rip me wide open all the way to my belly button. The doctor had to stand up on a chair and just pull and pull. Then I almost died because I had 'the hemorragica.' Little Roger's head was so deformed and he wasn't breathing either. Well, honey you have a good day and enjoy that little baby!"

I mean really... really! I don't know how may times I've been in a labor room listening to women tell these stories. It makes me so angry. Who are these support people this mother has chosen? Believe it or not, it's often a sister or friend, not just the strange lady on the street who is rubbing all over your belly while she tells you this rubbish.

So, what can we do to support a pregnant mother? Encourage her for starters! Some mothers are very sick during pregnancy and/or delivery. For many, it's the best time of their life. Either way, support and encourage her.

I love this picture that was featured in National Geographic. Look at her face... It's physical pain mixed with pure exhilaration, it's an endorphin rush that jumping out of a plane or riding on a roller coaster can't match.  It's a spiritual elation of thankfulness and joy. It's an emotional connection of love at first sight. In this instant, she knows there is nothing she won't do to protect this baby. It's a physical bond to this child, that she carried, nourished, protected and felt move inside of her. It's a bond to the father that she didn't even know existed. It's holding skin to skin her every hope, dream, and fear for the rest of this baby's life. 

It is birth, it is undeniably a life changing experience. 

Mothers, make wise choices of who will share that moment with you.