It's out of your hands, until it's out of your uterus... Birth Plan vs. Birth Wish

Birth Plan vs. Birth Wish

I recently had a patient who instead of a Birth Plan had a Birth Wish. I instantly considered her quite astute. Here is why and what most Obstetricians and Labor Nurses would say if given the chance:

YOU CAN'T CONTROL BIRTH! 

For those of you control freaks, I know this is a hard concept to grasp. So, let me say it in gentler way, 

                                    YOU, MY FRIEND, CAN NOT CONTROL BIRTH!

Now, don't go getting all extra granola chewy on me just yet. Yes, Mommy, YOU are having a baby. YOU have wishes and desires of what YOU want your birth to be. Hopefully, you will get all of them. The difficulty is, whether you are having a home birth or hospital birth, many things will be "out of your hands" until it's "out of your uterus." 

From the moment of conception, you lost control of your uterus. You will soon have no control of your breasts, hormones, maybe even your skin, joints, ligaments, bowels or bladder. Shall I go on, dear?  Most of us considered it a wonderful life changing experience, so chin up! Yes, birth is a natural process, it has happened since the beginning of time, and even those mothers would tell you, YOU CAN'T CONTROL BIRTH!

So why do I like the term, "Birth Wish" more than "Birth Plan?"

Simply put, you can't plan what you can't control.

I often tell my mommies and daddies this:

Imagine the game 52 Card Pick up. It's basically a trick. If you don't know how to play, here's the deal. Usually your obnoxious brother or uncle asks you if you want to play. You say, "SURE!" They throw a deck of 52 cards in air and say, "Ok, pick 'em up!" So, here are some things that might be thrown up into the air during the labor and birth.

Un-medicated Birth

Medicated Birth

"Heck yeah, I want an epidural!"

Sorry, you're too late for an epidural!

"No matter what I say honey, remind me I don't want an epidural."

IV

No IV

No Inductions

"Please doctor, I want this baby out, please induce me!"

Meconium (baby poops in utero)

No Meconium

No augmentation, (Oxytocin, "breaking water")

"Whatever you have to do to get this baby out of me, do it."

Vaginal Birth

Vacuum Assisted Vaginal Birth 

C-section

Delayed Cord Clamping

Baby on the breast, immediately after delivery. 

Baby needs some interventions after delivery.

Seriously, I could go on all day; but what is the number one end result that everyone wants? Well of course, it's a healthy mom and healthy baby.

A mommy who has a very definite, "it must be this way" plan is often very disappointed when she deviates from that plan. A mommy who has definite wishes, but realizes she is NOT in control is obviously already realistic and intuitive to her body. Chances are she will be more relaxed and able to enjoy the birth. You know, the birth she can't control. 

Happy Birthing, Amber

**Disclaimer: these are my opinions and no medical advice should be considered implied or given. If you need medical advice, go see a doctor.**